It is the week before Christmas vacation, we got third place instead of first yesterday (i like to win), it is freezing in our apartment last night because I don't like a high electric bill, I don't have any clothes clean (shocker i know)... so I am wearing uggs a skirt, and my tacky Christmas sweater that says "you make my heart melt" with two snowmen on the front with a little of gold glitter (so I feel HOTT (with two t's today), I left my badge with keys on it at my dads, and I walk in to my mom's house with a crying family member (NO NAMES) and all this has happened before 7:30. So i am frustrated, irritated, and already a little upset before 7:30. I walk in to school with my mom to put my my lunch which is gross by the way ( Santa Fe Beans and Rice and pita chips...yummm i know) and one of my students is sitting in the office worried about a coat. In our school district you can only wear uniform colored coats. This child does not have one. So he is sitting in the chair arms inside his coat which is not a school appropriate coat shivering and not knowing what to do because he knows that his jacket is not school appropriate. He is upset...which i can understand. Who wants to start their day of not being able to wear a coat to school. Hello it is 32 degrees out side and my room sometimes stays at 67 (i wear gloves and my big jackt half the time) His grandmother looks at me and says " All I want is for my baby to have a coat he can wear to school and not be cold" Of course we find this child a jacket, but that is not my point.
My point is my heart and my eyes were so opened to how selfish I can be at times. How lucky and blessed I am. I have never had to worry about not having a coat to go to school in. So many times I think my life is sooooo tough when really I am beyond blessed. I have a home, a job, friends, family, and support from so many people. There is always something that I want that I don't have...and today I realized that mabye if i just stopped and looked @ WHAT ALL I had life wouldn't be so "tough". If I let go of all the stipulations I have for myself GOOOO, and this stupid timeline I "THINK" I have to follow. Or... that I need to be this perfect teacher, with this perfect life, with all this indepednce and thoughts of " I can do this on my own... I want to be the independent woman who can DO everything... maybe if I learn to just let that go I will start to appreciate all the things I have right in front of me like my sweet family, my friends who constatly call to check on me or just see how my day is, my 19 sweet cheerleaders, my 137 kiddos that come by just to give me a hug on the way out the door, my teacher friends, and my support system. Kinda mushy i know...but this is what has been on my heart today!
I love you all
JC
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