Living to 100

This week has def. been a challenge. My sweet or not so sweet at times Dee had a heart attack... she is very very sick, but is really trying to hang on and be strong. I will never forget looking in to her eyes when she was laying in the bed and telling her to hang on and that i LOVE her sooo much. She could not talk and was fading in and out of consciousness, but she squeezed my hand. It makes me cry just thinking about it! We had just talked about her getting to see my walk down the isle and have babies the day before... i hope she never forgets those talks we have!!

When she is laying in the bed at the hospital, i remember all the sweet times i have had with her. She would swim, play, watch movies, go shopping with all of us before she had her aneurysm. Then i think about the times after her aneurysm... all the times she has made us laugh because of her honesty. or the time that she wanted me to wear her fur coat to alex's football game, and got her feelings hurt because i wouldn't... or the time that we pulled up in the drive way and she was smoking a cigarette, had tennis shoes on, hair not brushed, but def. was rocking the fur coat! Goodness she makes me laugh...

I often criticize those who make choices for dee because i don't think they have made the best choices for her and her living situation, but when i really sit back and see whats going on that woman is HAPPY and not ready to go home yet. I cherish these times with her... i love rubbing lotion on her skin... and i love it when she makes weird faces at the nurses because we all know she is not the biggest fan of women!

She is such a fighter! I want to be like her really! So strong and never backs down!

She is one TOUGH lady. I pray she makes it through these HARD TIMES! I am not sure how much more the Cowen family can handle... the last 6 months have been so different for all of us!

My friends and my families friends have been awesome! I am sooooooo BLESSED with AMAZING people! I am so thankful!!! Thank you all who have called, text, or fbed me or my family. I truly believe that prayer is sooo powerful! So BE STRONG DEEEEE we love you!!

Rush me, but leave me time to wait

"Rush me, but leave time to wait" These lyrics are from a Gavin DeGraw song that I really love! These lyrics fit me just perfect for the time being! i am such a confusing girl right now! i feel soo bad for Mandi sometimes! She probably never knows what kind of day it has been when I get home or get to cheerleading! I feel like for the first time in my life... i don't really have a plan of where i am going or what i am doing! I am usually a goal oriented girl that knows exactly what she wants but lately this hasn't been the case! This is extremely hard for me because unfortunately i like to have control over all my situations and decisions. It's pretty crazy just letting go and living... Which living this way has been nice... most of the time! I am sure things will be straighted out sometime someday! I am fully confident I am going through this stage of life for a pretty good reason! :) The one thing i am sure of is how BLESSED i am even on the sad days i have! i am sure of one thing and that is that i have a sweet family and sweet friends! I am certain that is all i really need right now to survive!

This is all for now!

love you all

Something Beautiful

WOW! Feb. is already here!



What an adventurous two weeks it has been for me! I feel like God is really been trying to teach me a TON of "life's lessons" right now! I am learning sooo much being a teacher in the classroom and in the gym... who would have thought! I am so thankful for such wonderful MENTORS in my life they def. have great advice and help getting through these so called lessons a little easier. I feel like my students and my cheerleaders are trying EVERY bit of patience i have... which sometimes is not a lot! These lessons might be trying, but I am truly greatful for each and everyone of them!



I am one of those people who falls in love with a song for one reason or another and listen to it over and over and over again! This past weeks i have really fallen in love with the song "Something Beautiful" by needtobreathe! It is quite amazing! I just love the lyrics! The message of the song just really speaks to me!

I am hoping Feb. is a better month than January... although I heard today from my sweet friend LW that feb is usually the most depressing month because of the weather!!! I am thinking I am going to prove that stat WRONG!!! I hope everyone has a wonderful weeekkk! love ya'll